The Exchange

Time Away

2011-05-11T09:38:00.004-05:00

Last weekend I actually got a mini 4 day vacation without my kids and or my hubby. I wasn’t sure it was going to be possible at the first of the year but I pulled it off. I feel so lucky to have been given the opportunity to spend 24 hours with a dear friend and her family and then 3 days at Renee Trudeau’s Refresh, Renew and Re-balance retreat at Kripalu. It was absolutely heavenly but as I headed out on Thursday morning, I found myself full of mixed emotions. It was the first time I’d ever left my 14 month old and as most moms do, I felt guilty about leaving her and her brother who I knew would be fine but I still worried would she be okay without me…which is comical now as I don’t think she missed a beat. But in that moment, I must admit it was a little tough to leave which is so not like me.

And while I had my heart strings tugging when I pulled away, I was also extremely excited to finally have a few days of freedom!!!. My husband and I have always tried to take at least one trip a year without our kids but we didn’t get to do it last year with a new born, breastfeeding, etc. And I haven’t been away with girlfriends or on a retreat in years so this time was really special to me. And while I knew I needed some overdue rest and time to unplug, I had no idea how tired (literally exhausted and worn out) I really was. And when I arrived at Kripalu with excitement and anticipation….I’d never been there before and a deep desire to slow down, take in all the beautiful landscapes it provides being tucked into the Berkshire mountains and most importantly just rest and relax I had to make some conscious choices to do just that. The messages and the exercises at the retreat helped me and supported me in listening to my body and taking care of me. It provided opportunities to reflect, dream and just enjoy the moments of stillness and quiet. It provided new opportunities like Yoga Dance which I had never heard of but absolutely loved, I explored nature and went on hikes with some of the moms I met and also alone. As a true extrovert, I found it interesting that I really craved a lot of alone time. I guess with giving so much to my children and all that I do with clients, friends, family, etc……I just needed some downtime too.

All in all it was a wonderful weekend and very much needed and deserved. And with being away, it reminded me once again the importance of time for ourselves and how it truly does help shift my perspective and re-energize me. Not only has it helped me be more patient, more understanding and more loving towards everyone in my family, I’ve found myself saying more I “CAN” do things I want to do vs. being bummed because I “can't”. And while a weekend away was great, and I highly recommend it if you can, I’m also looking to incorporate just a few hours a week where I get time alone to do something I want and enjoy. Maybe it’s more walks/runs outside or making my exercise a priority every day, maybe it means hiring a baby sitter to go to dinner with friends or taking a book and reading outside or at a coffee shop but definitely making an effort to take a break from the norm and re-energize.

How about you, do you ever get time away? Do you make it a priority or find excuses why it can’t happen? Want to join me in being creative on how we CAN give ourselves time away, even if briefly more often?

Let me know how I can help…..I truly believe if there is a will there is a way and You can do it too!

Cheers,
Angela

Surrender

2011-04-16T10:02:00.002-05:00

When life throws you curve balls, what do you do? Do you fight it and try to barrel through or do you surrender to what is and ride the wave? It’s not been an easy lesson for me but more and more I find that surrendering to what is vs fighting to make it what I think it should be is a lot easier.

Last week my family and I went on a wonderful and amazing trip to Disney World (truly is a happy and magical place) and this week my son and husband were fighting a nasty stomach bug. And while I’m very thankful (extremely thankful) it didn’t occur when we were at Disney, coming home to sick family members makes for a tough transition. There were stacks of mail, no groceries in the house and tons of clothes to be washed and put away but once my son got sick again Monday morning, I knew all I could do was surrender. Surrender to what was going on in that moment, not what I wanted it to be or needed it to be.

Sure I would have loved to get all my things put away, house picked up and my to-do list started but it just wasn’t going to happen (at least not without lots of sacrifice) and instead of fighting it or trying to do too much, I let go. I focused on what I absolutely needed to in that moment and let the rest wait. And though I was single parenting this week with my husband gone on business, I made sure I got as much rest as I could as I too could feel myself teetering on getting sick after being up two nights in a row and getting little sleep.

Now the old me would have pushed through, not rested and tried to get it all done but luckily I’ve come to my senses and took it in strides this week…..and only had a few moments of meltdowns and tears but hey I made it! 

How about you, do you tend to surrender or push through?

Best wishes always to riding the wave vs fighting it!

Love, Angela

Staying Connected

2011-03-14T21:17:00.012-05:00

So last week my telephonic personal renewal group and I discussed the topic of changing relationships and staying connected, a chapter in The Mother’s Guide to Self Renewal by Renee Trudeau. We talked a lot about how relationships change after having kids (both good and bad) and how hard it can be at times to give our relationship the care and attention it truly needs, especially when our kids are young.

We reminisced on what are relationships were like before kids came into the mix and then shared ideas and tips of things we do (or want/need to do) to stay connected with those we love. Some ideas were weekly check in’s where you both take 20 minutes to share what you’ve got going on the next week and where you may need a little extra support; more sweet and loving embraces, just as you would and or do for your kids when they come home or leave each day. Or another big one was time alone w/out the kids....true time w/out any interrruptions. Some struggled with finding sitters so a few ideas we came up with were having more lunch dates when the kids are at school or day care or even having an “at home” date night after the kids go to bed.

I know it sounds simple and nothing you haven’t heard of before but as we shared in the group, it’s the simple efforts that make such a difference. Sometimes just watching how we speak to one another or being less critical & more appreciative goes a long way. And sometimes it takes having to schedule reminders or actual dates on our calendars to help remember. I know, it sounds so “business like” putting it on your calendar but sometimes it’s what it takes to ensure we make the time.

What about you? Does your relationship need a tune up or some extra love and attention these days? Join me and my group members on setting a weekly goal to connect or re-connect with the ones we love the most! Keep is simple and doable but don’t let it slide, you and your loved ones (even your kids) will be glad you did.

And if you want to learn more about my telephonic personal renewal groups or topics we cover, you can find more information by clicking on my website, The Mom Exchange.

Cheers to love & connection! Angela

Sweet Campbell

2011-02-23T13:18:00.013-06:00

So today my sweet little girl celebrates her first birthday and I’m having mixed emotions. On one hand I’m excited for her, excited to see her showing her independence with walking, talking, eating big kid food, giving cuddles constantly and playing the “where’s Campbell"game……she’s absolutely blossoming in so many ways and fills my heart with so much love I can’t stand it. And then on the other hand, I look at her and think WOW, where did that year go?

It seems like yesterday that I was in that hospital room looking at her and thinking OMG she’s so tiny, so innocent and sweet. It was such a surreal experience and I honestly don’t think it hit me until she was about a month old that I really had a daughter. It’s still weird to say those words as my first inclination is to type little girl but she’s my daughter. She’s beautiful, she's smart, she’s funny, she’s tough, she’s sweet and I can't forget a definite ham. She cackles, she laughs, she smiles, she loves giving big open mouth kisses and showing affection with everyone she meets.

And while I love seeing all of this, it's still hard to think what if this is my last, she's my baby. It's definitely easy to start heading down that road but today I choose not to go there as today I want to honor, celebrate and love this little angel for all that she is right now in this moment and cherish the memories we’ve had from this past year! She's added so much to our family and truly is a blessing to all of us!

We love you Baby Campbell and wish you a very Happy First Birthday~ Love, Mom

Love the one your with….YOU!

2011-02-08T11:28:00.006-06:00

It’s February so yes LOVE is in the air!! And for my family, we also celebrate my birthday, my nephews birthday and now my sweet little girl’s birthday in February so it’s a busy month to say the least. And while it’s fun to get caught up in all the excitement and hype this time of year I realize that it’s also very easy to forget about US (the ones who show unconditional love day in and day out) with all of the kids parties, v-day cards and candy fun.

And for some reason since thinking about this, I’ve had that song stuck in my head “Love the one your with…...you gotta love the one your with” – you know the song by Crosby Stills and Nash. And while I know it’s talking about your significant other, it has me asking myself, what about ME, what about YOU and all the other moms who give so much to their children day in and day out that they forget about themselves? Is this you? Do you do anything special just for you this time of year or even better on a regular basis? What if you did? Would you feel better, feel more excited and loving towards yourself and others?

Whether you do this already or don’t, I challenge you to sit down and figure out one special thing you are going to do this month JUST FOR YOU! Do you want a dinner out with friends, a massage, a walk in the park, a home cooked meal or just an evening home alone when you don’t have to deal with kids night time routine so you can read a good book or catch up on your tv shows – a mini escape? What do you most want this month to show YOURSELF the love too?

Schedule it, take it and make sure you get it!! There’s only one YOU so LOVE THE ONE YOUR WITH!

Love,
Angela

p.s. the cool picture is from drangonartz.net

Accountability Partners

2011-01-23T21:19:00.005-06:00

When Jason and I woke up this morning, the temperatures were in the teens, the snow was coming down fast and furiously and it was not the kind of Sunday that makes you want to put on your running shoes and head out for a run. It was more of a stay in your pj’s and enjoy the warmth of a fire kind of day! And while I spent the second half of my day doing just that with the kids, being accountable to one another is definitely the reason he went outside to run and I braved the roads and went to the gym.

Jason is my accountability partner and since we set our running goal at the first of the year we’ve been charting when and who runs on each day of the week and it’s definitely working. Seeing it on paper is helping and knowing that he knows if I’m on track or not is my motivation if I haven’t put in my time. And while we haven’t run together one time since we set the goal, we have both been able to run 3x a week and both had a successful 4 mile run today. :) We are definitely keeping each other motivated and moving forward.

What about you, do you have someone who keeps you on track with your goals? Have you set your goals? Don’t worry, it’s not too late! When I work with my clients, I become their accountability partner. I help them to not only define their goals but more importantly stay on track and achieve their goals. We celebrate successes and work through barriers to ensure they keep moving forward. So if you don’t have an accountability partner today, I encourage you to ask a friend, a spouse, a coach or mentor to help keep you on track.

Accountability whether it be to someone or something is definitely a key to success! Let me know how I can support you in 2011! Angela

Simple Beginnings in 2011

2011-01-05T13:20:00.006-06:00

Happy New Year!! It’s hard to believe it's already 2011 and time for new beginnings and possibilities. If you are like me, you love the new year, the excitement with getting to set new goals and intentions and dream about at all that is possible. I love it, I really do but if I’m honest with myself, I know I’m great at “thinking” about all the things I want to do but sometimes struggle or at least have in the past with finishing or remembering my goals mid-way through the year.

The good news is that over the past few years, I’ve been challenged by my coach & mentor to write down what I want to accomplish in the upcoming year. And yes, while I usually hem and haw to get it done, when I finally do it, I love it! Writing it down gives me accountability and reminds me going forward of where I'm headed.

Now I’m not saying it has to be complex or a big detailed plan as I think we fail a lot to times when we try and make it too complex & too difficult but what I am suggesting is that you write it down. Keep it as simple as possible and start with just writing down 2-3 goals you want to make happen in 2011. Write it on a post it note (how simple is that) to really keep it short and sweet or if you feel compelled, write out a more detailed plan but the most important thing you can do is WRITE IT DOWN!!! Writing it down helps take it from thinking about it towards action & completion. And hopefully by writing it down you will also post it where you can see it.

Here's to keeping it simple but making it REAL!! What needs to be written on your post it note this year? What are your 2-3 goals you know you want to accomplish?

Let me know how I can support you in 2011 and make it a year to remember!

Cheers, Angela

The Simpler the Better

2010-11-26T15:01:00.008-06:00

Simple....I'm thankful this year for things being simpler and less stressed. Our Thanksgiving Holiday was simple, wonderful and very much enjoyable. We spent our time in Topeka, Kansas (about 5 hours from St. Louis) with my in-laws and really didn't do a lot but in a GOOD way. We had leisurely mornings of breakfast and coffee, took mid-morning runs, had lots of great meals and plenty of down time of playing with the kids, building Lego's and watching football. We didn't rush off to shop, try to squeeze in too much, just kept it simple, stayed close to home (their home) and enjoyed each other's company.

And now as we've returned home and started bringing out our own Christmas decorations and started planning for the month of December, I've found myself trying to keep that same attitude of simpler is better. I'm not overwhelming myself with trying to get too much done all at once and trusting it will get done in good time. I'm taking my decorating, shopping and list planning in stages and trying to enjoy it more than just tasking through to get it done. I've got Christmas music playing, savoring the moments with Cole and Campbell and trying to remember the good things this time of year brings! So how about you, what can be simpler and better in your life this holiday season? Want to join me in "the simpler the better" way of being for a change!

Best wishes,
Angela

Stop Thinking & Start Doing

2010-11-10T20:30:00.010-06:00

I’m a thinker, always have been and probably always will be to some extent but one thing I’ve learned is that no matter how much I think or get stuck in my head, until I actually do something about it, it doesn’t change.

The Big Fish Nation recent blog post on “Do you think too much” (http://www.lorinbellerblake.com/2010/11/02/do-you-think-too-much/) was a good reminder for me especially since lately I’ve been that person who felt like she was spinning her wheels and getting nowhere.

I’ve had lots of ideas and things I’ve wanted to do or get done but it just wasn’t happening and I was getting frustrated. In Lorin's post she says “The most frustrated people I know are not in action. When we get stuck, we often try to think our way into action, but that just gets us even more stuck. The only way out is to try something different: we can’t expect to get different results by just doing the same thing over and over.”

It’s so true and sometimes it’s just a baby step that I need to get jump started towards creating what I want most. With only 6 weeks left before the end of the year, I’m going to focus on getting out of my head and start taking more actions that align with my values, my goals and my dreams!

What about you, are you ready to get out of your head and step into action? Join me and the other amazing and inspiring women commenting on Lorin’s blog post about Big Fish Principle #7 “Choose your attitude and your actions and boldly act!”

"COLE IN ACTION"

Fall Promotions

2010-10-26T11:44:00.008-05:00

There is always something about this time of year that brings me a renewed focus and attention towards things that matter most. And whether it be projects, personal goals and or tweaks and changes to my routine, I always feel more energized and eager to do it now than say after the first of the year.

So if you find yourself in a similar place, wanting to jump start a project or make some changes (big or small) and don’t know where to start, check out my Fall Coaching Specials and Upcoming Personal Renewal Group and let’s do it together . There really is no better time to start living for you and loving life. I hope you’ll join me.

Fall Coaching Special for Mom’s ~
• Includes 3 coaching sessions (30 minutes each) between now and the end of the year for only $99.00 (a $200 savings).
• Free email coaching and support while working with me.
• Ability to continue for 3 additional coaching sessions at the same price.

**I always offer a FREE 20 minute coaching and consultation for anyone and everyone who is interested in learning more. Feel free to share this with friends and family too, free coaching is a wonderful thing! www.themomexchange.com

Telephonic Personal Renewal Group for Mom’s starting
January 27th, 2011 ~
• The group will meet every 3 weeks on a Thursday evening & is just for MOM’s
• Topics we’ll explore include: The Power of Self Care, Unleashing Your Creativity, Strategies for Greater Balance and are based on Renee Trudeau's book "The Mother's Guide to Self Renewal: How to Reclaim, Rejuvenate and Re-Balance Your Life" www.reneetrudeau.com
• This group focuses on nurturing you and taking care of your well-being; it’s empowering, inspiring and the best gift you could give yourself!
• We meet telephonically so you can call in from anywhere
• Cost to join the group is normally $150 but if you sign up before Dec 1 st , you can join for only $99; packages with additional coaching are also available – just ask for more details

Visit my website www.themomexchange.com or email me at angela@themomexchange.com with any questions you might have.

Best wishes,
Angela

Being Kind Before Right

2010-10-12T21:30:00.004-05:00

“Always have being kind come before being right.” (Lorin Beller Blake, Big Fish Principle #5) was one of my favorite topics discussed in the big fish program.

I loved it because it’s one of the principles that inspired us to not only be better business leaders but better people too (actually they all do but this one just speaks to me and who I am inside and out). Now don't get me wrong I've struggled with wanting to "be right" more times than not (especially with my spouse) but in the big scheme of things whether it be in a business meeting, a discussion with our friends or spouse or sometimes even in a power struggle with our child, having being kind come before being right allows for more open, honest & effective communication. And isn't that the type of behaviors we hope to teach, model and instill in our children, the future leaders of our world.

Learn more and be inspired too……read her blog post HERE.

Make it a great week, a week of kindness!

Take care,
Angela

Letting Go

2010-10-05T10:33:00.003-05:00

So this weekend, my 4.5 year old comes into the living room with his jeans on backwards acting as normal as can be, playing football, pretend tackling, having a grand old time just playing around as usual. I tried not to make a big deal about it but was definitely curious if he even noticed the difference or not with his zipper on the backside and said casually, “hey, did you know your pants were on backwards?”. He looked up briefly and said in return, “yeah, but it’s not bothering me” and kept on playing.

I chuckled and thought to myself but your pants are on backwards, doesn’t that bug you? And while I wanted to ask him to switch them around and maybe even did once before I realized, WHY, it doesn’t matter how his pants are and it may look silly but if it’s not bothering him, it should not be bothering me! And then it was like I had those words stuck in my head all day “yeah but it’s not bothering me” as though I needed a reminder that if it’s not hurting anything or anybody then why does it matter?

I know it sounds simple, a pair of jeans backwards but how often as moms do we get caught up in little struggles with our children based on how we think things should be, whether that be as simple as what our children are wearing on any given day, to the way our house looks, the meals we cook or maybe even our own appearance that it causes undue stress and worry? And while letting things go isn’t always the easiest to do, it definitely is a choice we can make that might be less stressful and make for a much more enjoyable day! He ending up wearing them that way for the most of the day and never thought a second about it.

How about you, are there things you could let go of that would cause less stress and or make your day more enjoyable? Give it a try, it might be easier than you think!

Wishing you all the best this week in letting go and having fun!

Take care,
Angela

TRUE FRIENDS & SUPPORT

2010-09-28T11:13:00.005-05:00

This past weekend I got to spend some MUCH NEEDED time with one of my dearest and best girlfriends who came into town for a visit with me and my family. We’ve known each other for many years and have been there for each other through heartbreaks, job changes, weddings, births, children drama and much, much more.

And while we haven’t even lived in the same city since 2004, she’s someone who has always been a constant in my life. She’s someone I can ALWAYS count on no matter what to listen, to encourage, to SUPPORT, to comfort, to inspire and MOTIVATE me to be the person I want to be. She knows the true me, understands my VALUES, my goals and holds that higher vision for me at times when I can’t even see if myself. She’s a wonderful person inside and out and I’m so lucky to have her SUPPORT in my life. And when we get to spend time together like we did this past weekend: talking, walking, laughing, reminiscing, eating, drinking, relaxing on top of all the normal family stuff I had going on, it’s just a REMINDER of how important it is to take the time to be with friends and re-connect again and again. And more importantly to have someone in my life who KNOWS ME and is there to SUPPORT me at all stages of life.

What about you, do you have a support person and or a TRUE FRIEND who knows you inside and out? Are you that person for someone else? We all need SUPPORT and a friend new or old is a great thing to have!

Wishing you a great week full of support!

Love,
Angela

Back in the Saddle

2010-09-19T22:05:00.004-05:00

Wow, it’s been awhile since I’ve been on here but I’m happy to share that I actually practiced what I preach and took full advantage of my maternity leave…..and honestly I loved every minute of it! I definitely missed connecting with my clients and the work that I do with moms but also was able to be really present with my children and tried to soak up as much of this precious time as I could. Good times for sure!

And while I was out, I realized something…….I realized that I have lots of ideas and thoughts on things I want to post on my blog but I also seem to procrastinate more often than not without ever coming through. So I did a little soul searching to try and figure out what has going on and realized I had turned my blog (at least in my head I had) into something bigger or daunting than it needed to be. I kept procrastinating because I was waiting until I had something big and insightful to post but when in reality my intention for my blog all along was that it just be practical, fun and quick & easy to read. And hopefully it too will be insightful, inspiring and motivating for some.

So here’s to getting back in the saddle and trying again. How about you, what are you procrastinating on and might need a little push to get back on that horse again?

Let me know how I can support you!
Angela

3 months & counting.....

2010-05-18T16:28:00.008-05:00

Wow, it’s hard to believe it’s already been 3 months….where does the time go? I remember thinking at 2 months I really wanted to check in but the days and weeks just seem to fly by. For us, it’s been a lot about adjusting to a new family of four, dealing with emotional issues w/ my 4 year old and caring for the needs of the baby. Not to mention my sister’s wedding in Vegas last week and just normal life stuff.

The wedding was beautiful with plenty of good times & memories but a trip like that definitely forced us to figure out how to gel as a family even more. I’m not sure I’d ever really given enough credit to what it meant to expand our family (although others told me it can be a challenge at times) until recently when the newness had started to wear off and things started getting a little more real or should I say surreal!

It’s definitely not easy juggling the needs and demands of two kids and some days go smoother than others but slowly we are figuring it out and making the best of it. I wouldn’t change it for the world and on those days when I literally crawl into bed, I thank GOD that I survived and remind myself that at least tomorrow is a whole new day with new adventures awaiting!

How about you, what do you do at the end of a long day to remember the good and re-energize for a NEW day tomorrow?

Overdrive Mornings

2010-04-22T16:46:00.008-05:00

Today was definitely a trying to do too much morning if you know what I mean. I started the morning being more tired than usual and from the second I got up my mind was racing with things I needed to get done or “should” do before I took Cole to school. Looking back several hours later, isn’t hindsight great…….that “should” was exactly what got me in trouble.

Instead of realizing I was already tired and just getting Cole & myself breakfast, dressed and out the door (along with feeding the baby) was going to be a stretch in itself, I put this undue pressure on myself to try and squeeze in a few more “quick” things and we ALL paid for it. It was nothing I had to get done right that minute; I simply was just trying to do too much when all I really needed was to surrender.

Surrender to the fact that I was tired, running on little energy and needed to focus on what had to be done and let the other little things go. I try to tell myself often to let it go, it’s not important right now when I start feeling overwhelmed but I was quickly reminded this morning how easily I can fall back into routines of acting like I’m super MOM and trying to squeeze in just one more thing into an already busy day. I’m thankful for the reminder and have given myself permission to let it go today so hopefully we end better than we started!!! How about you, would letting go of the “shoulds” or surrendering sometimes make your life any easier?

Let me know if I can help you in any way! Angela

Celebrating Campbell

2010-04-01T11:27:00.002-05:00

Our sweet little Campbell was born, Feb 23rd and officially had her 1 month check up this week. Despite a few projectile vomiting incidents, a little reflux and baby acne, she’s doing great! She doesn’t cry a lot, doesn’t demand much other than to be fed (but who doesn’t) and goes with the flow most of the time. I don’t know if it’s that I’m more relaxed or she’s a more laid back baby than Cole was (probably some of both) but it’s like she is just meant to be a part of our family. Not that we haven’t had adjustment issues or aren’t still going through our growing pains as we definitely are, it’s just that it feels like she belongs and always has....

And the good news it that she and I are both starting to come out of our newborn fog - yeah! :) She’s becoming more alert and starting to smile and respond to us which is soo amazing!! The smiles and the coos are the reminder that the last few weeks of no sleep and feeling so off at times are all worth it!! And with this being my second, I know that even more greatness is yet to come!

Anxiously Waiting!

2010-02-19T16:25:00.007-06:00

My house is full of emotions right now as we all anxiously await the arrival of our sweet baby girl!! I’m 2 days shy of 39 weeks and getting really uncomfortable. Just trying to put socks and shoes on this morning seemed like a major production. And walking, well it’s full of excitement as I feel like the baby is about to drop out any second. I’ve got Cole asking every day is today the day my baby sister arrives and Jason at every moan or groan I make checking in to see if I’m having a contraction and if today is the day……its’ all out of love I know in that everyone is so excited but craziness too as I don’t know when she’ll arrive!

And now we are faced with the question of to induce or not to induce. It’s such a personal thing and so many people have so many differing opinions on the subject. Even in my own home, we weren’t in total agreement at first. I was on board because it gave me the much needed planning time to coordinate care for Cole, etc and not to mention relief to my body and emotional state with all this waiting. Jason on the other hand wasn’t too excited to be forcing what’s supposed to be such a natural thing – although I’m already dilated and cervix is thinning. Its generated lots of discussion among us and prompted a close examination into whether or not Cole was induced – it was not a planned induction but I was given pitocin and my doctor broke my water. Jason went with me this morning to visit with the doctor and I’m so glad he did as no matter what the decision ends up being, I definitely want us to be on the same page. As it stands right now, it looks like we’ll be inducing next week but I’m secretly hoping she comes this weekend!

Taking Care of ME!

2010-01-30T15:31:00.004-06:00

It definitely was one of those weeks where I found myself struggling to make self care a priority. Between a sick little one, a visiting mom who needs some extra care and assistance as she recovers from a broken arm and just a lot of things to do before the baby is born, I found myself easily putting my needs off for another day. While I’ve practiced self care for a couple years now and fully understand the benefits of it (more patience, less stress, overall happiness, etc), it’s weeks like this where it seems sometimes that it’s easier said than done.

But just like with any weight loss program or anything we truly want to do, I’m reminded that I do have a choice! I can decide everyday on how, when and what I’ll do to make my self care a priority. On days when I have a sick child who becomes my top priority and a ton of things to do, I can choose to find creative or simple ways where I can still make time for ME. It’s not always easy, but in order to get some “me” time in that day, I may just have to let the laundry go one more day, say no to something just so I can relax in the bath while I have help from my husband in the evening , go to bed early or nap when my son naps. Simply stated I can re-energize myself and feel rested when I focus on taking care of me . And while I’m the first to admit that it’s easier to let my self care and my needs drop to the bottom of the list (this week is an example) than it is to make it a priority, I've come to realize letting myself go only makes me more grumpy, stressed and not a lot of fun to be around!

I’m working to continue to make my self care a priority despite a lot on my plate, what about you – what choices can you make today to join me in taking care of YOU?

Turn Baby, Turn......

2010-01-18T14:43:00.004-06:00

I officially made it to the 34 week mark this weekend with the pregnancy and the baby is still in the breech position. I’ve known she was breech since about 30 weeks but was hoping she’d turn. And I know I still have time and will be trying everything I can to help her feel a little more motivated to make her move but even in the womb they have a mind of their own and you can’t make them do anything! :)

I’ve been given all different kings of advice of how to help her along from submerging in a pool of water, doing prenatal yoga poses (which ironically I’ve already been doing for the last several weeks) to the one the doctor even recommended at least trying which was called moxibustion. Apparently moxibustion is a Chinese herbal technique which involves burning the herb mugwort over an acupuncture point found near the right ankle. I know it may sound crazy to some but it’s funny the things you’ll open up to and at least try when you find yourself with limited options. I've tried accupuncture in the past and didn't have great success but here I'm again willing to give it a try. Luckily there is someone here in St. Louis who does the technique and I’ll be looking into having it done at 36 weeks, if she doesn’t turn before then on her own.

So the mantra in our house these days as we all work busily to prepare for her arrival is “Turn Baby, Turn!” How about you, any mantra's you find your self or family saying as we start the new year?

NEW YEAR & A NEW WAY OF BEING!

2010-01-11T11:19:00.004-06:00

A new year always brings new opportunities, new possibilities and excitement in the air. I love looking back and reflecting on all the great moments (not always joyous but moments none the less) life had to offer over the past 12 months and then looking forward to all the possibilities that another year can bring.

Some of us set resolutions or goals for the year and I like to first set intentions of how I want to “BE” in the upcoming year. I also set simple goals that help me to accomplish that feeling or behavior along the way but most importantly I reflect on how I want the year to be and go from there. For example in 2009, my intentions were to be more playful (have more fun), be more trusting (worry less) and truly love & enjoy my life. And once I had that defined, I set some specific goals around ways I could have more fun like more date nights with my hubby, more family outings on the weekends, a gratitude reminder of all the blessings I had in my life vs focusing on what I didn’t have. I think both intentions and goals are important and starting with how you want to “BE” is a great way to focus your goals around who you want to be in this world vs. setting goals because you think you “should” have them.

Many of us will have goals like reduce fat in my diet, go the gym 3 times a week, lose 10 pounds, etc. Which are great and specific goals but what if you started w/ first, how do I want to be or feel in 2010……maybe it’s more energetic, more clear headed or walk with more spring in my step. Whatever it is, there is a feeling, a way of being that you probably want more of in your life and I encourage you to find that first and then set your goals. It's always been a more win-win way for me and I'm sure it will be for you too! And if you need help, just let me know as I'm happy to support you any way I can.

What’s possible for YOU with a NEW way of BEING in 2010??

End to 2009

2010-01-04T15:31:00.007-06:00

Well 2009 ended with a bang (literally) with my mom falling and breaking her arm on Christmas Eve Day while visiting from Dallas. She spent many hours in the ER that afternoon but was determined to be home in time to say goodnight to Cole and also be here when he woke up Christmas morning. And while she was in pain and delayed a surgery on her arm until she returned to Dallas, she got both her wishes. His face Christmas morning was of pure amazement when he saw Santa’s half eaten cookie that was left and the toys under the tree. 4 is such a magical age and his face and amazement was priceless. I totally understand why she wanted to be here so bad, despite the pain!!

I’m happy to report that her surgery went well and she’s in a recovery process now but I know for her and us it was long week in between. So while a trip to the ER was not expected or what I’d wish on anyone during the holiday season, accidents happen and you deal with them as best you can.

And despite the fall, we still had some wonderful times and memories over the holiday and were thrilled to spend time with friends and family. We traveled to see my in-laws and rang in the New Year with them and some how found time to work on a much needed home improvement project all before 2010 arrived!!

I look forward to the many blessings and opportunities to come in 2010 for me, my family, my friends and all of you!

Enough is Enough

2009-12-21T16:02:00.001-06:00

So there are officially 4 days until Christmas and I find myself still thinking of things I could still buy, things I should try and get done before the big day, etc. And then there was the nice reminder from the news today of did you remember to tip the trash man, postal carrier etc. And while I sat and pondered do I tip the trash man this year or give the money to a charity helping the homeless, I find myself asking the question, when is enough, enough? I had said yesterday how good I felt to be done with my shopping and ready to spend the next few days wrapping gifts, baking cookies with Cole and enjoying the last few days before the holiday and yet, here I am feeling like I need to be doing more. Is this the old overachiever in me coming out again or an overwhelming desire to please (maybe both)? What ever it is, I’m starting to reach my limit and have to say enough is enough!! The holidays shouldn’t be about killing ourselves, stressing ourselves out or over extending ourselves but should be about the memories we create, the time spent with the ones we love and remembering the true meaning of Christmas. I want to enjoy my holidays and not feel exhausted and overwhelmed, how about you?

My wish for you is that you stay true to yourself and to the meaning of Christmas and know when enough is enough! Angela

Lots to Celebrate!!!!!

2009-12-07T15:59:00.011-06:00

This weekend included a big road opening celebration here in St. Louis (the project my hubby works on and the reason we moved to St. Louis in 2007) and my best friends “Jingle Bells for Basal Cells” fundraising run for the BCCNS organization in Bartlesville, OK. While both were for very different reasons, both were a HUGE success! And since my family couldn’t physically be at the jingle bell race supporting my friends cause, Jason, my father in-law and Cole (all bundled up from the cold) ran in the St. Louis I64 highway opening 5K run wearing their “jingle bells for basal cell” t-shirts as a way to support from afar. And wouldn’t you know it, while we are 6 hours from Bartlesville, we even received some interest from other curious runners. I guess it goes to show that even the simplest and smallest forms of support can go a long way in supporting any cause!

I’m extremely proud of my friend Christen for orchestrating such a wonderful fundraising event and of Jason and the I64 team for making the highway job such a huge success for the city of St. Louis and the state of Missouri!

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL!! XOXO

Saying No is Never Easy

2009-12-01T13:45:00.003-06:00

Saying No has always been a challenge for me but I really started to explore it more and see it as a form of self care when I was introduced to the book "The Mother’s Guide to Self Renewal" by Renee Trudeau. It was obvious back then and still is today that it’s not easy for me to say No, especially when I fear that doing so may hurt feelings or upset someone. I was raised in a household where you didn’t say No often and you definitely never said NO if you thought it might upset or hurt someone’s feelings. You basically did whatever you could for others and in turn that meant a lot of times you put yourself last.

Over the past few years I’ve been practicing self care more and more and have learned that one of the benefits to saying No is that it can also mean saying Yes to me and my needs. I’ve learned gracious ways to say No and or offer alternative ways of support from Renee’s book and found the strength and courage to actually say No more often when it wasn't in my best interest to say Yes.

But recently I had to tell one of my dearest friends in the world that I wouldn’t be able to make it in town for her son’s big charity 5K run that she’s been planning all year and boy was that tough. I really hoped that I could be there to support her and the cause but things just got crazy in the last few weeks with my husbands job commitments and the realization of the amount of solo traveling this pregnant mama would have to endure. So what did I do, I stalled for days on telling her, waiting to find the right time – which never came by the way and then finally as the days drew nearer I knew I had to tell her. It wasn’t easy telling her I wouldn’t be there but she handled it as only a great friend would, she said she totally understood and reassured me it was alright. It wasn’t easy telling her No but at the same time it was what I needed to do to take care of me right now and I hope she would do the same thing for herself if the roles were reversed.

So as you embrace this holiday season, think about what you need to do to take care of yourself and see if saying No even once might help!

And if you are curious and want to learn more about Renee's book, visit her website at www.reneetrudeau.com

Enjoyable Family Photos

2009-11-20T15:49:00.005-06:00

I doubt I’m alone in this one but family pictures are something I really don’t enjoy. I always want to have them but I hate the stress that leads up to them and then a lot of time the disappointment that follows. Well about a week ago we had our family pictures taken and it was actually a great experience!

I really wanted this year to be more enjoyable for all but then again I’m 6 months pregnant and expecting baby #2 in February so there was definitely some apprehension going into it!! But as I went through the process this year of getting ready for the big day, I tried to remind myself about what was really important. I tried to remember that the day was about capturing some fun shots of my son who just turned 4, and if we got a good family one, great – even better! I really tried to take the stress/pressure off this year but always in the back of my mind was hoping we’d get a good one or two – what mother doesn’t want that, right!

So while I did do a few things as I’ve done in the past, I really tried to stay focused on Cole. I checked the weather a few times but didn’t stress out too much when it said rain and the biggest and best thing I did was to continually remind myself that the day wasn’t about being perfect, looking perfect or any of the above, it was about capturing my son, my family and my precious baby growing inside me so that one day, we could all look back and remember how much fun we had!

And wouldn’t you know, the rain held off and the pictures turned out great thanks to our wonderful and amazing photographer Cheryl McDonald! She not only captured Cole, the entire family – even baby sister on the way, she captured us having fun which is what I wanted most – thanks Cheryl! Anyone who lives in the St. Louis area, I HIGHLY recommend Cheryl and you can check out her work at www.cmphotography.blogspot.com

You Never Know if You Don’t Ask!

2009-11-16T13:56:00.001-06:00

So this morning as I dropped off our dry cleaning I “casually” mentioned that my husband thinks he’s missing some pants – in a kind of lets test the waters sorta way and see what they say because I didn’t have a ticket for them and couldn’t even remember when he mentioned it. So as I politely asked if they had some sort of lost and found system, her first question was “when do you think they went missing?” I told her I wasn't sure but maybe a month or so ago. She quickly checked her system and said do you think it could have been back in June? I was dumb founded and said, I don’t think so as that seems like a long time ago. Although I was unsure, she was happy to help and said, let me check in the back and sure enough she came back with not one but 4 pair of pants (one was even mine) and a ticket with our name on it. I couldn’t believe it and I think she was just as happy as I was to have helped me find our missing clothes!

So as I drove away, smiling from ear to ear and excited to call my hubby and tell him the great news, I thought to myself “how would I have ever known they had them if I didn’t stop to ask?” And why was I so hesitant to ask in the first place? Have I been burned too many times in the past by negative reactions for not having all the right receipts or information? Or is it sometimes just easier to go through life and not ask for help even in the simplest of forms?

Asking for help has never come easily for me as I used to be the one who had to prove my independence and had the “I can do it all attitude”, but I really thought I was working on it. I no longer turn down an offer from someone to bring me or family dinner when I’m sick or a friend who offers to watch my son while I get some work or errands done. But, what happened today reminded me that I’m okay with people offering to help me, but asking for it is a whole different situation.

To admit you might even need help or to ask when you are unsure is not always easy. However, is being willing to sacrifice your own self and stretching yourself thin (or $ when you think of me replacing 4 pairs of pants) in order to keep the peace really worth it? I think I’m more important than that and I’m going to continue on this journey of speaking up and asking for help more often than not – even when it feels uncomfortable. How about you, want to join me in asking for more help?

Outside fun in November!

2009-11-09T14:33:00.004-06:00

The weather here in St. Louis could not have been any nicer this past weekend (75-77 both days w/ full sunshine) and boy did we take advantage of it! We spent Friday night w/ friends and letting the kids play at our monthly pizza and play - a monthly get together where one family hosts pizza and drinks and gives the rest of us a nice break. Then we were off to Cole’s last soccer game on Saturday (warmest game we had) and then had some friends over for a simple dinner of grilling on the patio which was laid back and fabulous none the less.

Then Sunday morning as we ate breakfast and looked at how beautiful it was and Jason asked, "what's the plan for the day?" Cole quickly spoke up and said "We should go to the Zoo" and both Jason and I knew we wouldn't get many (if any) days like this until Spring so off we went to hurry and get ready and out the door by 8:30 am. We knew we had to get there early to beat some of the crowds and if you haven't even been to the St. Louis Zoo, I highly recommend it, it's an amazing zoo and more importantly it's free! We always have a wonderful time at the zoo but this was absolutely amazing with the greatest opportunities of being up close with many of the animals (we got some great video of the hippos swimming, one elephant looked like he was posing in our picture and the giraffe almost ate a leaf right out of Cole's hand)!

And the day would have been perfect if it wasn't for that little bee that had to sting Cole on the hand while we ate lunch. Of course he screamed and cried and my heart broke for him as I know how bad a bee sting can hurt. And all the same time while I tried to comfort my son I was panicking thinking please God, don't let this get any worse - please don't let this turn into a major allergic reaction as he's never been stung by a bee before. Luckily nothing more than some minor swelling occurred and he is totally fine but it was during those few minutes of unknown that were really scary. And best of all if you ask him if he had fun at the zoo he'll say yes, riding the train and seeing all the animals was awesome! :)

Not all weekends are this busy or fun to say the least but I guess the nice weather brought on some spontaneous play for us!! How about you – did you enjoy your weekend or do anything spontaneous?

Shifting w/ Choice

2009-11-06T11:45:00.004-06:00

So what happens when you have a bad day? Maybe the day before you handled the kids meltdowns with grace and ease or just felt on top of the world and BAM, the next day you are having just as many melt downs as they are and no one is happy. Does this happen to you? I know this definitely happens to me and sometimes I find myself spiraling right there with it and other days I catch myself and remember that I have a choice in the matter. One choice is of course to stay there and be with my bad mood or state of mind all day or another option is to choose to be someplace different, some place happier, more in control – anything better than what I’m experiencing in the spiral.

So how do you actually shift? The first step I know to be is always awareness, recognizing you are even in that place and what you are feeling in the moment. Some people say this is the hardest part, catching yourself in the moment but if and when you do, there are several things you can do to shift or change your perspective. Some people take a time out w/ deep breaths, maybe they dance to music or try laughing out loud or getting some fresh air for a change of scenery.

For me personally, a quick walk around my block can do wonders for me or even some fun music or smiling more tends to lift or change my mood. But lately knowing I can’t always walk due to weather or maybe music isn’t readily available, I’ve been trying another way where I take a deep breath (or two or three or four depending on the day), I close my eyes and then try to picture myself on the most beautiful sunny breeze filled beach type island I can imagine because for me the beach, the breeze, the sand in your toes is where I’m always the happiest and most at peace in my life. So I try to remember how I feel when I’m at the beach and then tell myself, that is how I want to be today. I want to relaxed, energetic, peaceful or maybe playful but not this grumpy, screaming at the kids person I’ve been all morning!!

Now I won’t lie to you, it’s not been super easy and is definitely taking practice but its something I want to practice and learn if it'll help me have more ease and happiness in my life. I remind myself I’m having to learn to build a muscle around this process and at the same time I find it so empowering to remember I’m in control, I have the power to change old habits, old ways of thinking and become the person I really want to be!!

So what about you – are you being the person you want to be? If not, what’s your way of shifting and what can you do to stand in your power of choice?

Baby Steps!

2009-11-02T09:52:00.004-06:00

So I’ve been saying for months that I wanted to start my blog for The Mom Exchange and for whatever reason: fear, insecurities, pc crashes, procrastination, the work with clients or on my website, I just kept putting it off. I kept telling myself I’ll work on it this week or tomorrow but nothing! And now as the end of the year quickly approaches (8 wks to go), I started to realize that I won’t even reach my goal of creating a blog in 2009 if I don’t start NOW!!! So here I am writing my first blog entry and to be honest, I’m very excited to finally be posting something. I have a tendency to sometimes make a mountain out of a mole-hill and let the smallest of things seem like some daunting task. I’ve always been somewhat of a procrastinator and remember my apt in college was never as clean as it was right before an exam or some big project that was due!

Does this ever happen to you? Are you one to put things off or wait until the last minute on a project for work or even something you know needs to be done around the house? Sometimes I need a little push or some encouragement to finally get started and sometimes I need to let something go depending on what it is and how important it is to my goals and my life priorities. As for my blog, it was something I really wanted and wasn’t going to let it go, I just needed to take that first baby step and get started! And I guess that goes for all of us, if we don’t ever take even the smallest of steps towards our goals then we surely can never accomplish them! So what is that you most need as the year ends to accomplish a goal that is still looming…..some encouragement, a gentle push of accountability or a reminder that we can always take baby steps because even the smallest of steps gets us one step closer to success!

And in case you were wondering, my hope with this blog is that it becomes a place to share insights, struggles and funnies in my journey as a mom, spouse, life coach, friend, daughter, sister granddaughter and more! My dream is that it creates a venue where I connect with other moms, share our stories, and support each other while having some fun along the way! I’m not sure yet the frequency of when or how often I’ll make postings but hopefully more often than not!

So here’s to my taking my first baby step and starting my blog…..WHO,HOO…..it feels good! :)